you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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