He asked to "fluff my boner.."
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
