last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I supernannyed him into submission
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
