she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
