Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We have so much sex to catch up on
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
