no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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