Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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