Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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