Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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