Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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