why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
