One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
