You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
even my farts smell like vagina
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
