im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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