i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
