omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
