To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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