im about as happy as oj after his trial
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
