if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
