weddingsv make me drug and hornr
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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