i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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