Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Panties = found
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
