Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Can I color on your dick again?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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