when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
