he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
