Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
