so explain again why im purple
no
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
