it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize