hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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