she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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