Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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