I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize