sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
