hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left