Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.

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  (845): when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me. http://tfl.nu/56i6
  Replies (2) Good night (488) Bad night (2936) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.

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  (651): It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave. http://tfl.nu/tj8s
  Replies (87) Good night (459) Bad night (4265) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air

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  (610): the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air http://tfl.nu/jv3m
  Replies (31) Good night (591) Bad night (3453) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding

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  (904): we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding http://tfl.nu/10zj
  Replies (3) Good night (3176) Bad night (608) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.

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  (425): I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me. http://tfl.nu/cm8t
  Replies (19) Good night (3645) Bad night (849) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list

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  (330): Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list http://tfl.nu/ucvs
  Replies (40) Good night (1416) Bad night (13774) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.

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  (925): I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard. http://tfl.nu/47cs
  Replies (13) Good night (3117) Bad night (1353) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.

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  (440): He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am. http://tfl.nu/6rv7
  Replies (13) Good night (4053) Bad night (690) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."

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  (402): We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends." http://tfl.nu/n1yw
  Replies (5) Good night (1348) Bad night (2241)
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  (530): View more from California

  Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.

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  (530): Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying. http://tfl.nu/488f
  Replies (12) Good night (1481) Bad night (2456) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.

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  (910): I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers. http://tfl.nu/lhcq
  Replies (7) Good night (1460) Bad night (1510) Order T-Shirt
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?

  (1-623): View more from Arizona

  You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.

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  (623): How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you? (1-623): You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror. http://tfl.nu/pl6g
  Replies (10) Good night (832) Bad night (1495)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.

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  (316): She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool. http://tfl.nu/dtry
  Replies (2) Good night (610) Bad night (335) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!

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  (805): Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?! http://tfl.nu/o9wh
  Replies (4) Good night (485) Bad night (181) Order T-Shirt
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  its good to be home.

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  (985): drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye. (985): its good to be home. http://tfl.nu/5qd5
  Replies (4) Good night (677) Bad night (140)

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