the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
