Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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