I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
the condom got lost in my hair
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
