forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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