I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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