Texts From Last Night

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  (+61): View more from Australia

  yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.

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  (+61): yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status. http://tfl.nu/4c5v
  Replies (27) Good night (733) Bad night (3714)
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  (714): View more from California

  my room smells like sperm. sweet.

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  (714): my room smells like sperm. sweet. http://tfl.nu/th94
  Replies (14) Good night (939) Bad night (2530)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.

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  (204): i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week. http://tfl.nu/kpcq
  Replies (5) Good night (3971) Bad night (729)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.

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  (513): They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is. http://tfl.nu/k34n
  Replies (8) Good night (3772) Bad night (751)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.

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  (256): Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower. http://tfl.nu/xm1k
  Replies (16) Good night (1907) Bad night (3714)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples

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  (610): I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples http://tfl.nu/ak9g
  Replies (4) Good night (2464) Bad night (707)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.

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  (580): It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down. http://tfl.nu/xmf3
  Replies (2) Good night (1505) Bad night (676)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.

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  (609): He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place. http://tfl.nu/k1hb
  Replies (30) Good night (1317) Bad night (1943)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?

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  (603): She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep? http://tfl.nu/8ccn
  Replies (11) Good night (1376) Bad night (610)
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  (949): View more from California

  Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.

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  (949): Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand. http://tfl.nu/6vlj
  Replies (6) Good night (681) Bad night (1060)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.

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  (403): I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture. http://tfl.nu/2295
  Replies (7) Good night (886) Bad night (326)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.

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  (613): I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that. http://tfl.nu/ketf
  Replies (10) Good night (2357) Bad night (340)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  "what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.

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  (330): "what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that. http://tfl.nu/c3qo
  Replies (1) Good night (573) Bad night (212)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats

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  (226): I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats http://tfl.nu/76ap
  Replies (0) Good night (371) Bad night (172)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.

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  (832): No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even. http://tfl.nu/n3x6
  Replies (4) Good night (534) Bad night (178)

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