you would pick up someone in the library
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
