I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
