Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.

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  (586): You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup. http://tfl.nu/ddou
  Replies (10) Good night (3342) Bad night (1215)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole

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  (817): i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole http://tfl.nu/vkxw
  Replies (21) Good night (1011) Bad night (7107)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.

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  (812): About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix. http://tfl.nu/c1od
  Replies (43) Good night (9992) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"

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  (817): I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!" http://tfl.nu/bikn
  Replies (2) Good night (3541) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.

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  (616): Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind. http://tfl.nu/1wb4
  Replies (8) Good night (2355) Bad night (972)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone

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  (804): I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone http://tfl.nu/9ph0
  Replies (11) Good night (3009) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.

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  (218): Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county. http://tfl.nu/h5dk
  Replies (12) Good night (1500) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"

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  (616): But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!" http://tfl.nu/95zk
  Replies (10) Good night (2974) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face

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  (571): Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face http://tfl.nu/2tes
  Replies (5) Good night (774) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?

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  (520): Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight? http://tfl.nu/4mcq
  Replies (3) Good night (934) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch

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  (248): I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch http://tfl.nu/n34v
  Replies (5) Good night (961) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine

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  (720): Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine http://tfl.nu/xw9t
  Replies (1) Good night (726) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.

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  (760): Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever. http://tfl.nu/884t
  Replies (0) Good night (688) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah

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  (504): Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah http://tfl.nu/mugp
  Replies (2) Good night (361) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.

  (1+44): View more from

  But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?

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  (+44): No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day. (1+44): But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right? http://tfl.nu/jhlo
  Replies (0) Good night (595) Bad night (361)

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