Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
