one two three fourrrrnication!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
