Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
