i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
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I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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