and you said cock pushups were impossible
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize