I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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