I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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