yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.