i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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