My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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