i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
