i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
