she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
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It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
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WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
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