Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
