Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
