the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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