i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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