Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
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