Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
