Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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