i think my mom watched the whole time
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
