is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
