So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
