It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i think my mom watched the whole time
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
