happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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